So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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