I'm jealous of your bromance
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
