how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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