apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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