Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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