i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
