That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
