I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
