At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
