I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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