Apparently you make a good broom.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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