They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
