I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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