Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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