im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize