feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
