this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
