Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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