The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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