doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize