Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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