I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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