The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
