Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
