just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
