Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
