I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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