And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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