he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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