Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
