my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
