hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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