Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
