TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
