Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
