After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
