My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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