Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
