I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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