I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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