I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize