I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
