4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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