I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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