They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
