white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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