so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
