my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she told me i tasted like america
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
