I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
