Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the day after is always just damage control
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize