I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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