It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
