Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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