So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
