Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
