If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
