I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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