the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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